Many successful people have positive feelings and are at peace with themselves, and one sign of this is that they are not very critical of themselves and are quite honest about their shortcomings. In addition, they never like the idea of self-rule or rumination, and negative self-talk in general.
Nick Wignall, from his long years experience as a psychologist, introduces some fundamental psychological rules and habits that we can follow to achieve success in life and business.
Observe their way of thinking
Aside from ignoring your feelings when they first appear, another reason these negative feelings are amplified is that we are inadvertently feeding them through our thought patterns, such as chronic anxiety or negative self-talk that turns into stronger and longer-lasting feelings.
If you want to control your emotions, you must learn to manage your thinking. Most people are not fully aware of their mental patterns. As a result, they find themselves at the mercy of all the feelings that lead to them, for example, chronic self-criticism leads to chronic low self-confidence.
Successful people often have a habit of scrutinizing their ideas and paying attention to them. They are aware of the role they play in initiating or perpetuating unhelpful mental patterns, and as a result, they are better at regulating the patterns of thoughts and emotions that follow.
They empathize with themselves when they make mistakes
One of the things I’ve noticed about successful people, Wignall says, is that there are two types of them, very successful on the outside, but miserable on the inside. The other type is externally successful and also has a relatively calm and confident inner life.
One of the main reasons for this difference is to overcome strong feelings from within when something is wrong or short.
Successful people on the outside and miserable on the inside have a very strong habit of judging themselves when they make mistakes. They constantly think about past mistakes, worry about future mistakes, and are generally bad about themselves.
But people whose outward success is matched by inner calm usually have a strong habit of self-compassion. They think about their mistakes and try to learn from them, but they don’t talk about them or generalize them on themselves as people.
They admit their feelings early
It is difficult to succeed in any part of our life if we are constantly overwhelmed by painful feelings. Of course, we experience difficult emotions such as fear, sadness, or anger. But why do some people deal with these feelings relatively well while others can’t?
According to Wignall, it’s easier to manage difficult emotions when they hit them early on, because the buildup of these feelings over time will cause them to increase in size and intensity, causing you to become distracted and less focused on your actions.
If you can get in the habit of acknowledging your feelings when they first surface, and then validating them rather than trying to get rid of them, you’ll stand a much better chance of staying emotionally balanced, moving on with your life, and achieving success.
They listen to their feelings but seldom trust them
According to Wignall, most people’s relationship to their feelings falls into one of two extremes – either they reject and avoid their feelings. They don’t know much about it or how much it affects them outside of their consciousness, or they are obsessed with their feelings and overly focused on them, and are therefore highly emotionally motivated in making their decisions and choices.
As for successful people, they often have a middle approach to their emotions, they are aware of their feelings but do not place blind faith in them either.
They update their predictions frequently
Expectations are strong beliefs about the future or what you think you ought to achieve, and they lie in the back of our mind, which means we rarely check or revise them.
If you insist on having expectations, expectations must be realistic. Many people end up falling into self-sabotage patterns and bad habits, because they are still operating according to old expectations from childhood.
Successful people understand that to continue to make good decisions in an ever-changing environment, your expectations must be checked and updated regularly, so that you can stay true to your goals and aspirations rather than stray from them.
Sometimes emotionally weak
Emotional vulnerability is one such term that sounds silly and superficial and isn’t even worth thinking much about, because most people don’t really understand what it means.
Being emotionally vulnerable means that, when appropriate, you are able and willing to talk about how you feel, especially when it is difficult. This is not only important for your emotional health and well-being, but is essential if you want to maintain healthy and effective relationships with others around you, on which nearly all success depends.
A successful journey in life depends on feeling confident and being able to talk about what we really feel. Successful people understand that by representing their emotional vulnerability and being honest about how they feel, they are enabling others to do the same.
Managing emotions is very hard work, and to do those jobs well, people need the support of their brains. It’s like being a pro athlete and eating a poor diet, or owning a sports car and not bothering to change the oil.
Success depends on a healthy mind, and a healthy mind depends on healthy habits. Successful people know that performing at your best depends on emotional strength and mental intelligence, and that these things require time and investment.